Boundaries are lines you draw and clarify between yourself and others that maintain your individuality and identity – your definition of who you are, separate from everyone else. Your boundaries are necessary all the time. The need for boundaries is as constant as your need to breathe.
Our boundaries change throughout our lives, as we develop and mature. Our most basic, primitive, and immature boundaries are about protecting and defending ourselves against the “outside world” by controlling other people and/or externals in our lives.
Specs: 11.5" x 8.5" Workbook with 70 pages
Our boundaries change throughout our lives, as we develop and mature. Our most basic, primitive, and immature boundaries are about protecting and defending ourselves against the “outside world” by controlling other people and/or externals in our lives. These boundaries look like:
When I close my door, do not come in my room.
If you hurt me, I’ll hurt you back.
If I work for something, I’ll get money.
I can say what I want and you can’t stop me.
If I need something, then I deserve to have it.
“Bad” (uncomfortable) things shouldn’t happen to me.
I will not follow the rules.
As you mature and develop in your emotional honesty and personal responsibility, your boundaries will reflect that maturity. You will begin to accommodate more than “what’s good for you” in the equation. As you mature, you begin to acknowledge not only yourself and what you think, feel, and choose—you also relate and empathize with (connect and feel for) others as deeply as you do with yourself. Your world transitions from “me-focused” to “me-and-you-focused.” This shift into personal responsibility and emotional maturity enables empathy and vulnerability, and brings joy, peace, and true emotional connection. No longer are your boundaries about protecting yourself, but about being an integrous, responsible person and connecting and interacting with the “outside world.” These mature boundaries look like:
I will keep my commitments even when I’m tired, because I care about myself and the people I affect.
I am willing to understand how I affect others.
I will learn from my mistakes.