What is Denial?
Denial is the deceptive companion of distortion. Distortion is a plague that lies to us, and denial legitimizes, cloaks, and covers the distortion, until we believe the distortion! If you let denial reinforce your distorted thoughts you are choosing to believe falsehoods about yourself. These falsehoods claim that you are either better than or worse than you actually are.
Denial occurs when you avoid, push away, neglect, or hide from Reality. Choosing to live in denial brings many destructive consequences, including physical, spiritual, emotional, and psychological symptoms. The silent emotional killer of denial disconnects us emotionally and annihilates intimacy, compassion, love, and self-care in all of our relationships. Justification is one of many strategies used to remain in denial. So what is Justification? Keep reading to find out!
Justifying: A Denial Strategy
Justification occurs when you give yourself “evidence” in order to have permission to do what you
want. Justifying makes everything “okay.” Justification is often used to help you feel good about an act that you shouldn't have done. An example of how this might occur is included in the video below.
When you justify an action or experience and go into denial you will drag that experience around with you throughout your life. Until you are willing to acknowledge, be honest with, take responsibility for, feel, validate, and surrender the outcomes of those painful experiences, they will affect, plague, and contaminate every experience you have moving forward. Not feeling emotions and not being willing to be responsible for all of your experiences is an illusive experience which significantly affects you and teaches you that you don’t have to feel and invites you to emotionally shut down in all of your relationships.
Every human being has the impulse to use denial at times. Using denial does not make you “bad”—it only accentuates your vulnerability to not want to experience pain or anything that may feel unpleasant to you. Fortunately or unfortunately, discomfort and pain are necessary parts/experiences in life and no one is void of experiencing them.
Overcoming denial is a conscious choice to leave distortion and enter Truth. By paying attention to when you use justification you can stop yourself from entering denial and reinforcing your distorted thoughts. Be honest and responsible with yourself about your thoughts, actions, and motives and you can find peace.