Safety & Trust
A vital part of every healthy relationship is safety and trust. Without either the relationship becomes toxic and harmful. In order to build relationships that exist in connection you must start by living a life of honesty, responsibility, and humility.
When we choose to live in distortion, we are not living honestly, responsibly, or humbly. This means that we cannot have safety, trust, or connection—not with self, others, nor God. This week we will focus on the second building block of the diagram: safety and trust.
What is Validation?
Here are some questions to ask yourself about when you think about emotional honesty and dishonesty?
What is Denial?
Denial is the deceptive companion of distortion. Distortion is a plague that lies to us, and denial legitimizes, cloaks, and covers the distortion, until we believe the distortion! If you let denial reinforce your distorted thoughts you are choosing to believe falsehoods about yourself. These falsehoods claim that you are either better than or worse than you actually are.
Denial occurs when you avoid, push away, neglect, or hide from Reality. Choosing to live in denial brings many destructive consequences, including physical, spiritual, emotional, and psychological symptoms. The silent emotional killer of denial disconnects us emotionally and annihilates intimacy, compassion, love, and self-care in all of our relationships. Justification is one of many strategies used to remain in denial. So what is Justification? Keep reading to find out!
People often fall into the trap of The Four Big Distortions. When we choose to believe these distortions we feel sad and inadequate. These distortions are simply false.
Distorted thoughts & false beliefs are erroneous conclusions we make about ourselves, others, life, our experiences, reality, and ultimately about our worth and safety. Distorted thoughts and false beliefs form when I experience a painful, uncomfortable, or traumatic experience and I choose to perceive it in distortion: fear, confusion, lack of knowledge/facts, and a lack of Truth or Reality.
When I agree with false beliefs and distorted thoughts, I exit Reality and begin to question who I am — my Divinity, worth and safety. False beliefs invite me to conclude that I’m not enough, I’m unlovable, my needs are not important, and I don’t matter. When I choose to believe those statements, I will experience (feel) the most uncomfortable emotion that the human family has ever felt: shame — the feeling that I am bad, incapable, and unworthy — a searing feeling of fear, dread, not-enoughness, and hopelessness. If I choose to “buy into” or agree with distorted thoughts & false beliefs, I will experience continual distortion and deception about what is The Truth and what is Reality, and I will experience a constant feeling of shame. That is a bold statement. And it is the Truth—because it is my responsibility to perceive in honesty (recognize the Truth) about my experiences and take responsibility for my own thoughts, feelings, choices, and the outcomes of my choices. In this and future booklets, shame will be used to describe the emotion(s) you feel when you believe false beliefs and distorted thoughts.
Connexions provides many great services. One of our highlights is the classroom. The classroom provides students a place to learn in a group setting. Jodi Hildebrandt leads the class in a variety of topics including, family, 101, parenting, and experts topics.