Anger is your ally

May 21, 2020

Can anger/enmity really be your ally and friend? Most would say. . .NO! 

 
I would invite you to become curious and take a closer look at the Truthful function of anger/enmity in your life. 
 
Because of your childhood environment and family culture, many have taught you about emotions, specifically about what anger means, what to think and feel about anger, and how to use anger and how to act when you feel angry. 
 
Anger is an emotion!! IT IS NOT...
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​Why does life offer inevitable pain?

May 13, 2019

The fear of being misunderstood.
The agony of your loved one choosing sin.
The heartbreak of others choices.
Being disappointed.
Not getting what you want.
Attempting to control your children and realizing you can’t.
A lack of confidence, losing a competition.
Feeling anger and sadness.
Believing a lie, a distortion.
Losing a friend, loved one, spouse.
Missed a fly ball/someone tells an off colored joke.
Someone comparing you.
 
All of these are opportunities to enter into inevitable pain which...

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​Why does life offer inevitable pain?

May 12, 2019

The fear of being misunderstood. The agony of your loved one choosing sin. The heartbreak of others choices. Being disappointed. Not getting what you want. Attempting to control your children and realizing you can’t. A lack of confidence, losing a competition. Feeling anger and sadness. Believing a lie, a distortion. Losing a friend, loved one, spouse. Missed a fly ball/someone tells an off colored joke. Someone comparing you. All of these are opportunities to enter into inevitable pain...

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Distorted Thoughts

Apr 29, 2019

How do you identify the distorted thoughts that hold you captive?
You use a slick little phrase/question that goes like this…
…And if that (distorted thought) were true what would that mean about you?
 
For example: I could never do that…
And if you could “never do that” what would that mean about you?
Well that would mean I was inept…
…And if you were “inept”, what would that mean about you?
That would mean I was...

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Responsibility is the Key!

Apr 15, 2019

Have you ever thought, “What in the world am I responsible for?”
 
You probably would come up with a list of tangible items such as:

  1. Feeding the dog.
  2. Cleaning the kitchen.
  3. Going to school.
  4. Paying the mortgage.
  5. Washing my clothes etc…

AND have you ever thought of being responsible for:

  1. Perceptions
  2. Feelings
  3. Actions/behaviors and their outcomes.


Guess what? Those three areas you ARE responsible for and if you choose to ignore them it doesn’t mean you’re not...

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Basic Human Need

Apr 10, 2019

Connection is human need - and because most of us don’t know we need it we accept it’s deceptive counterfeit disconnection, to fulfill its space. The problem is disconnection feels connecting yet its whole goal/outcome is to drive a wedge between people to separate them. Or invite both parties to participate and create an outcome of disconnect / numb / enabling / distraction / denial / self-denigration / self-adulation / entitlement / blame / control / isolation / resentment...

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Safety & Trust Are Earned Not Given

Jul 29, 2018

Safety & Trust

A vital part of every healthy relationship is safety and trust. Without either the relationship becomes toxic and harmful. In order to build relationships that exist in connection you must start by living a life of honesty, responsibility, and humility. 
Honesty, Responsibility, and Humility followed by Safety and Trust are the building blocks of connection.
 
To the left you can see the connections building blocks. The foundation of connection is living life in honesty, responsibility, and humility. This is why ConneXions focuses on the importance of...
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Validation

Jun 21, 2018

What is Validation?

Validation is a need. Just like we need air, water, and food to survive, we need connection and validation. A baby will literally die if not given validation, connection, and love.

In this week's blog, we are going to talk about what validation means and how you can apply it in your relationships.

Remember that you are responsible for yourself and that you cannot force another to provide you with validation. That is why it is important to 1) have a connection with God and...

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Emotional Honesty = Peace

Jun 14, 2018

Here are some questions to ask yourself about when you think about emotional honesty and dishonesty?

  1. Is manipulating a form of deceitfulness or emotionally dishonest? 
  2. Is pride a form of being lying or emotional dishonesty? 
  3. Is procrastination a method of being deceptive or dishonest? 
  4. Is entitlement a form of emotional dishonesty?
  5. Is denial a usage of dishonesty or emotional dishonesty? 
  6. Is agreeing with shame messages a form of emotional dishonesty or misleading oneself...
CONTINUE READING...

Control vs. Surrender

Jun 07, 2018

Key Questions to ask Yourself?

  1. Do I relate to or attempt to relate to people in a controlling manner?
  2. Am I controlling with myself?
  3. Do I use control as a way to manage my discomfort?
  4. Do I control out of habit?
  5. Do I control when I am afraid?
  6. Who do I allow to control me?
  7. Do I use controlling behavior or language when I am hurt?
  8. How long have I engaged in controlling behavior in my life?
  9. Do I control (manipulate) to get what I want?
  10. Am I controlling when I get angry?
  11. Do I use anger to control...
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