The fear of being misunderstood.
The agony of your loved one choosing sin.
The heartbreak of others choices.
Not getting what you want.
Attempting to control your children and realizing you can’t.
A lack of confidence, losing a competition.
Feeling anger and sadness.
Believing a lie, a distortion.
Losing a friend, loved one, spouse.
Missed a fly ball/someone tells an off colored joke.
Someone comparing you.
All of these are opportunities to enter into inevitable pain which pain invites you into distortion.
Inevitable pain is pain you can’t control and it’s literally inevitable. You can only control three things in life:
Listen to the #10 podcast – Pain is our Teacher.
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How do you identify the distorted thoughts that hold you captive?
You use a slick little phrase/question that goes like this…
…And if that (distorted thought) were true what would that mean about you?
For example: I could never do that…
And if you could “never do that” what would that mean about you?
Well that would mean I was inept…
…And if you were “inept”, what would that mean about you?
That would mean I was ‘stupid…and if you were “stupid” what would that mean about you?
It would mean no one would like me. And if no one “liked you” what would that mean about you?
That would mean, “I am not enough”.
Bam! You hit the core, the mother lode of all lies, “I’m not enough”. Every distorted thought can be traced back to the FEAR of not being enough. Stay tuned to find out how to retrace your distorted thoughts and reform them into truth and face yourself.
Distorted Thoughts = Captivity Truth Declarations = Freedom
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And through the personal learning options found here:
Have you ever thought, “What in the world am I responsible for?”
You probably would come up with a list of tangible items such as:
Guess what? Those three areas you ARE responsible for and if you choose to ignore them it doesn’t mean you’re not responsible for them, it just means you have a distorted view of your responsibility and it will lead to you becoming vulnerable, emotionally and / or spiritually ill. Yes, your unwillingness to BE responsible creates emotional, mental sickness such as depression, anxiety, and addictions of all types! If you’re curious about this correlation listen to the podcasts and webinar and come get educated.
Connection is human need - and because most of us don’t know we need it we accept it’s deceptive counterfeit disconnection, to fulfill its space. The problem is disconnection feels connecting yet its whole goal/outcome is to drive a wedge between people to separate them. Or invite both parties to participate and create an outcome of disconnect / numb / enabling / distraction / denial / self-denigration / self-adulation / entitlement / blame / control / isolation / resentment / lack of boundaries / addiction / and a slew of other destructive behavior patterns. True connection DOES NOT create or participate in any of the characteristics listed alone. So if you’re in a relationship where you or the other person is engaging in these – you ARE NOT CONNECTED! You're deceived – and caught in an illusion – come listen to connection podcast and come to webinar to learn how to recognize disconnect and choose truth/connection.
Safety & Trust
A vital part of every healthy relationship is safety and trust. Without either the relationship becomes toxic and harmful. In order to build relationships that exist in connection you must start by living a life of honesty, responsibility, and humility.
When we choose to live in distortion, we are not living honestly, responsibly, or humbly. This means that we cannot have safety, trust, or connection—not with self, others, nor God. This week we will focus on the second building block of the diagram: safety and trust.
What is Validation?
Here are some questions to ask yourself about when you think about emotional honesty and dishonesty?
What is Denial?
Denial is the deceptive companion of distortion. Distortion is a plague that lies to us, and denial legitimizes, cloaks, and covers the distortion, until we believe the distortion! If you let denial reinforce your distorted thoughts you are choosing to believe falsehoods about yourself. These falsehoods claim that you are either better than or worse than you actually are.
Denial occurs when you avoid, push away, neglect, or hide from Reality. Choosing to live in denial brings many destructive consequences, including physical, spiritual, emotional, and psychological symptoms. The silent emotional killer of denial disconnects us emotionally and annihilates intimacy, compassion, love, and self-care in all of our relationships. Justification is one of many strategies used to remain in denial. So what is Justification? Keep reading to find out!
People often fall into the trap of The Four Big Distortions. When we choose to believe these distortions we feel sad and inadequate. These distortions are simply false.
Distorted thoughts & false beliefs are erroneous conclusions we make about ourselves, others, life, our experiences, reality, and ultimately about our worth and safety. Distorted thoughts and false beliefs form when I experience a painful, uncomfortable, or traumatic experience and I choose to perceive it in distortion: fear, confusion, lack of knowledge/facts, and a lack of Truth or Reality.
When I agree with false beliefs and distorted thoughts, I exit Reality and begin to question who I am — my Divinity, worth and safety. False beliefs invite me to conclude that I’m not enough, I’m unlovable, my needs are not important, and I don’t matter. When I choose to believe those statements, I will experience (feel) the most uncomfortable emotion that the human family has ever felt: shame — the feeling that I am bad, incapable, and unworthy — a searing feeling of fear, dread, not-enoughness, and hopelessness. If I choose to “buy into” or agree with distorted thoughts & false beliefs, I will experience continual distortion and deception about what is The Truth and what is Reality, and I will experience a constant feeling of shame. That is a bold statement. And it is the Truth—because it is my responsibility to perceive in honesty (recognize the Truth) about my experiences and take responsibility for my own thoughts, feelings, choices, and the outcomes of my choices. In this and future booklets, shame will be used to describe the emotion(s) you feel when you believe false beliefs and distorted thoughts.
Connexions provides many great services. One of our highlights is the classroom. The classroom provides students a place to learn in a group setting. Jodi Hildebrandt leads the class in a variety of topics including, family, 101, parenting, and experts topics.